I will still be over here making paintings.

Updated: Jul 10, 2022

There is nothing I would rather do, nor anything else I am qualified to do.

It has been my identity since I was a kid.

When I am not doing something creative, I feel lost.

It is the one thing I love to no end, and the one endeavor that brings so much doubt and heartache.

It is my passion.

It is a space to be myself.

It is a place to explore ideas.

It is a tiny pinhole in which I fit.

I often feel disconnected, unplugged, alone.

So, I make art about being connected, about feeling a part of something bigger.

If I can create connections, then maybe I can be a part of those connections, feel a part of something bigger?

Maybe the paintings are a map?

Maybe if we look hard enough at them, we can both be connected while we are lost?

Or maybe we can both be connected while I am lost?

Or maybe I will be found, and you will be found

And we can just be relieved that something has been found?

I don’t know.

I don’t know a lot of things.

But I know these paintings are hopeful, desperate things.

They keep me going.

When sometimes I don’t want to keep going.

Maybe they will keep you going?

Maybe they won’t matter in that way.

Maybe they will just be pretty things to hang on your wall, that match your couch and curtains.

Or maybe they will be a mirror and you will find your face staring back at you.

Or maybe they will be nothing at all.

In any case,

It’s ok.

I will still be over here making paintings.